A Conflict of Words

Kathy-Cartoon

[image credit: Susan Clarke; Cartoons About Miscommunication; fun-damentals.com]

One day, a few words had it up to “hear” with being misused and misplaced in conversations! In fact, the word “here” just gave me the side eye for that first sentence. So, while I’ve been searching for words to write and the time to write them…a few of them had some issues as well.

First there was “reel!” He figured, since we work together often I should be able to understand his frustrations. I’m a driver for a telecom company and I often deliver reels of wire to several locations. They can get quite heavy sometimes so the work is very “real” to and for me. But, “reel” wasn’t feeling as alive! I told him he was having a Peter Pan moment and he needed to simply look at things in a different perspective. You may not have a pulse, but you allow communication to millions and that my friend, keeps the world alive! He “reelly” liked that…

“Steel” had been a victim of identity theft. He is responsible for many structures, inventions and innovative things that have made the world interesting and sometimes tragic. Steel made the Titanic, but the sinking always “steals” the headlines. Steel made skyscrapers, but the architects steal the notoriety. Steel has even been misused for evil! “Hear” in Chicago, steel guns are heavily used to rob, kill, and yes…steal. The world has tried using more plastic, but even that started to steal the ozone layer. I guess steel can’t catch a break…get it!!!??? 😉

Now these “two” over “hear” were inseparable, and that was part of “their” problem! They were way “too” close “to!!!” They had the same issue as their friends “there” and “they’re!” They all needed some time alone to understand who ownership lies with, where exactly does it lie, and how many persons, places, or things are considered. We won’t even begin to touch on the “lye’s” told while they sorted all that out!

Trying to keep my mind “staid” on the task at hand, I’m glad I “stayed” up to write this post. We must “raise” awareness to the conflicts our words create and be “rays” of hope for positive communication amongst each other. I can only hope I’ve helped out my word friends as much as they have helped me. Because now, I can always return “HERE” to be reminded of our bond and to as usual…

Embrace Nerdy Things!!!

 

 

 

The Martian

Marvin

[image credit] Merrie-melodies-laser-beam-marvin-the-martian.jpg (looneytunesshow.wikia.com)

Recently, I took a trip to Venus and acquired some awesome understanding about women. So, it was only right I take a trip to my home planet and now I’m an expert on all things about men.  Ladies, this is where you’ll want to pour a glass of wine or set up whatever pleasurable and relaxing vices you indulge in as I break down why men are the way we are.

You may or may not understand us because, well…we come from a planet that’s a conundrum for even a scientist. Mars is considered to be an incredibly inhospitable place, much like the emotionally unavailable male. It’s cold, dry, has little atmosphere or precipitation, and nothing grows there! So no, we will never understand what it’s like to bare a child. But, Mars is still a lot like Earth!

Perhaps it’s just me, but I never refer to a woman as having “swag” in complements to her aura. She can be jazzy, or stylish or simply hot…but not possessing swag. That seems better suited for a guy walking with a certain tilt to his axis. He exhibits a certain cool atmosphere with a mystery of what lies underneath his layers. You don’t know what his temperament is, but like Earth you still feel his gravitational pull.

Ever wonder why it takes a man a while to warm up and open up enough for you to see how he flows? Why is there nothing like a hot, cooked meal to rejuvenate a man? In fact, why does it take all things warm i.e. a hug, kiss, smile to see a man come to life? How can we be so familiar to all things Earthly, and yet be so confusing at the same time?

Perhaps these nerdy fact will help shed some light on us. Mars indeed does have plenty of water… it’s just in the polar regions and as a permanent layer of permafrost under much of its surface. So, if your sunshine is warm enough, (along with the right combination of food, hugs, and kisses) you can melt this cold, outer, shell and begin to see him flow through life. You see his “swag” because Mars’ axial tilt of 25.19 degrees is comparable to Earth’s  23.44. A day on Mars is 24hrs and 39mn, and it’s average temperature is 51 degrees Fahrenheit so we can afford to procrastinate at least 40mn a day…ijs!!! 😉 Mars’ orbit around the sun is more eccentric than other planets as well. It can be at a distance of 206.7 million to 249.2 million  kilometers from the sun!  I bet the man cave is perhaps located at the latter distance… Just embrace my “eccentricity” and as always….

E.N.T.

 

 

 

 

 

A Day On Venus

trip to venus

YES, I have finally figured women out!!! I have discovered Victoria’s secrets, I’ve opened Scarlet’s letter, can be Jane Eyre’s heir, (…wink, wink), and now I understand the Diaries of a Mad, Black Woman. I know why Beyoncé keeps her hot sauce in her bag (Swag!!!), why Ethel puts that shit (Frank Red Hot Sauce) on everything, and even how much Mrs. Butters(is)Worth!!!

When women are pregnant or are really happy, its often said they are glowing…like they are reflecting light or something. They have roots growing in them that have yet to be seen but are very much alive and need to be nourished. Her atmosphere is a bit different…she see’s more vividly, hears more clearly, and smells everything. That “woman’s intuition” is acute and on full display. And now I see why!!!

Is it just me, or do women look so damn good in the summer!!!??? I’m not saying  this simply because they’re wearing less clothes (…well maybe I am), but there’s so much more to it. She’s more colorful, playful, and flavorful. She wants to be outside basking in the sun, taking walks in the park, sight seeing, and shopping for attire to have her fashionable while she’s doing all of that. With that said, she may not want to do a lot of sweating and/or getting her hair wet but it’s something about that sun that makes her have some concessions…. And I know why!!!

Ever wonder why women constantly lie about their age; why it’s taboo to ask an older woman how old she is? It’s so ok for her to be “Forever 21” they have stores aptly named. Ever wonder why it takes her so long to get dressed? Ever wonder why they say “a woman has a right to change her mind,” and when she does it, she somehow gets you to just rotate with it…. Well, wonder no more…I have the answers!!!

Okay, so I don’t REALLY have the answers BUT, here are the facts! A day on Venus (you know, that planet women are from) lasts longer than a year on Venus! A planet’s day is the time it takes to spin once on it’s axis, and the year is how long the planet takes to orbit around the sun. It takes Venus 243 days to spin once on its axis, but only 224.65 days to orbit around the sun! And get this… it also rotates backwards!!!

So, in nerdy theory it makes sense why you take all day to get dressed. Your home planet is all day! You’re at your best when in the sun… you nurture your seeds, blossom into beautiful, colorful creatures for all to see, and you give off scents that attract all species. You probably really do forget your age. Your planet takes so long to rotate one time, I imagine the days begin to lump together. And I guess you really do have a right to change your mind since your planet rotates backwards. Still…as opposite as your planet is from mine, I cant wait to spend another day on Venus!

E.N.T.

An iNERDpretation of Music

Perhaps its just me… (I tend to say that a lot), but I think I listen to music a little too analytical sometimes. At first, it was just the artist in me listening to the add libs, background voices, cadences et.al. I would then start singing those parts more than the actual lead lyrics. Then, because I’m the worlds best lip sync artist when in front of the mirror…I’d put on some great performances! Don’t judge me!!! lol… You should try self entertainment. It’s excellent therapy for maintaining a good mood! But, I think I’ve taken it a bit too far. See, I drive for a living so that provides “goo gobs” of time to listen to music and practice my craft so to speak. Most of the time I’m listening to my ipod, which I feel has the greatest collection of music ever! But, I also listen to the radio to stay abreast on the latest hot songs and trends. So, naturally I start analyzing the songs (and of course performing them) while I’m driving. Some songs make me think…Yo, WTF are you talking about?

For instance… When I first heard “F*ck Up Some Commas” by Future, I immediately thought, “why would you want to do that?” Now, I’m from the hood and of course I know he’s talking about money. So, when he says he f*cked up some commas I didn’t take it as a good thing! But, he means he’s getting so much money he has to change the place of the commas in his bank account! Man, that’s f*cked up, huh? 😉

When I was listening to R. Kelly’s “Don’t You Say No Tonight,” the first verse reads like an ode to chivalry! He talks of the wonderful things he does for his lady in an attempt to earn her love. But, the second verse comes off like “look woman, when is this stuff going to pay off?” By, the third verse he sounds ready to “take” his payoff! …just my opinion.

On a lighter note, Beyoncé’s “Love On Top” takes me back to the 1920’s and swing dancing! That little “da, da, da, duh-da, da, da, duh-da” at the beginning makes me put my index finger up and wave along with the rhythm. Again, do not judge me… I know I’m right on point with that comparison! 🙂

So, next time you’re listening to music, let it take your mind on the journeys your personal characteristics plots the courses on. I promise it’ll lead to discoveries and talents you never knew you had, open you up to the artist or dancer in you, and  help you to Embrace Nerdy Things!!!

E.N.T….always

And the nominees are….

Ok… sooo… https://virgobeauty.wordpress.com/  nominated me for “this” award…

sisterhoodbloggeraward

Don’t be confused…we’ve already established I’m quite a man! She challenged me to push past the title and delve deeper so here I go. ***Side note: Cool Ass Al loves a good challenge. Read “The Duality of Al” for further insight!!!***

RULES

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you. Virgobeauty, you’re awesome and I thank you! Oh, did you even know I’m a Virgo as well?
  2. Put the award logo on your blog. Done!
  3. Answer the ten questions sent to you. …keep reading! 😉
  4. Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer. …read some more, please! 🙂
  5. Nominate 10 blogs. ok, you’re up: hayatlmaskeen.wordpress.com, lafayetteangel.com, artistgirlcorpworld.com, fromthecsweet.com, stepville.com, readbetweenthelyme.com, threesaherd.com, jessiejeanine.com, wtmlpart2.wordpress.com, ccchanel41.wordpress.com

My Ten Answers

1. What part of today felt purposeful, yet, it was routine, or simplistic? -My girlfriend got pissed off by my twitter beef…which I found a little funny. She simply holds me down!!! 😉

2. Name three things that made you smile today. -A pic of my daughter and I made a local newspaper; I gained a new follower to my blog; received a good msg and funny response from a stranger on fb

3. What is something that you need to hear? -Music

4. Right now, what are you grateful for that is enough? -Air

5. What book, movie, song, or show are you indulging in? -Zoom (Commodores)

6. In what area of life, do you need to forgive yourself at this moment? I actually have no regrets right now.

7. If there was a book about your life, what would you title it? A Cool World Order

8.Provide five words that describe you. Steady, humble, confident, honest, peaceful

9. Often times, we get busy with the daily tasks of life. Who would you like to hug, and express your love to today? My daughter, mother, and girlfriend

10. What quote gives you hope? You can eat an entire elephant, if you take it a fork full at a time!

My Ten Questions For My Nominees

  1. What is your favorite “personal” blog posting, or the one you’re most proud of?
  2. What motivates/inspires you to write?
  3. Tell me something nerdy, quirky, or odd about yourself!
  4. If you had to choose between tv or music, which would you choose?
  5. What’s your favorite song?
  6. What’s your favorite movie?
  7. What’s your favorite place you’ve traveled?
  8. What’s your proudest moment?
  9. Name something you were embarrassed about then, but can laugh about it now.
  10. Dogs or Cats?

I Want A WordPress Family!

Ok, I really like memes and dream of having a whole conversation using only them. I’m not sure how or even if it would work, but I think it would be hella nerdy cool! With that said, I cant really get into Instagram. I have way to much to say to really get into Twitter either. I can come up with nice one-liners…but then I’d want you to respond so you can understand exactly where I’m coming from. I hate to be misunderstood! I do love Facebook, however. The way it allows us to connect and reconnect with people has allowed me to promote some great birthday parties, get informed on a bunch of peoples business I shouldn’t know about, see some utter bullshit in a myriad of genres, and reunite me with a great love. But, this WordPress world is nothing short of awesome to me…at least for now! I’m so new to it that I fear I’ll encounter some ambiguities, but for now drift away with me and allow me to be the foolish dreamer I am. Now, these things may already exist (outside of my head), so forgive my naivety! 😉

Here at the WordPress actual meet and greet, the banquet hall was full of my followers and their followers. (Yeah, I know this can realistically be an enormous hall, but just work with my nerdy vision for a sec; please and thanks! …lol) We could share our stories on what inspired us to become bloggers and have awards for certain categories. We’d get to hold conversations and meet the people we’ve heard about in each others blogs, have a few drinks, and all leave with great fodder for future posts!

In our travels, we can visit different cities and countries and have instant tour guides. Trust me…if anyone decides to visit Chicago, you’ll want to hit me up for safe passage ways throughout the city. Chi-Raq is as advertised! I have some nice stamps on my passport and it would have been great to have had some insider knowledge on those places prior to my visits.

Lastly…I obviously have a good imagination and I’ve already put voices, accents, and cadences to the few followers I have and the blogs I’ve read. You all are probably nothing like the characters floating around my head and I’d love to see how far off I really am. lol…

All in all… I’m super excited to have entered into this world of blogging. I use to be a hip hop artist with dreams of recording and performing on huge stages but the birth of my daughter made giving it up bittersweet! Blogging has now reignited the flame to create and It’s given a me a lane to do something I love!!! So, in the words of EPMD… “Please listen to my demo…,” and help me form my WordPress family……. nerdy vision optional!

Peace…. E.N.T.

The Duality of Al…

W’sup people…A lot of folks call me Cool Ass Al… And hello world…my name is Alvernon! Cool Al has close to 800 friends on Facebook. A lot of those friends have significantly more friends than that. Alvernon actually communicates with perhaps only a hundred or so of those “friends!” Chances are, he has been “real” friends with them before Facebook was invented, he has their actual contact information already, or he is at lease a person or two away from obtaining it. We both are very competitive!!! 😉 Ironically, that same competitiveness has sometimes shied Alvernon away from actual competition because of the heightened emotion of it all. But, Cool Al loves a good challenge!!! Alvernon is a pretty private person! But, Cool Al will share our life story to anyone willing to listen. We both love to write, but Cool Al doesn’t read often. He draws his inspiration from entertainment and worldly things. When Alvernon isn’t too busy, he loves to read and gets inspired by some of the weirdest shit! We’re both too loyal of a friend to divulge others personal information even if it pertains to our own life, and we’ll protect the integrity of others as we do our own. However, if a great story can come from us talking about them, it’s much harder for Cool Al to object!!! …everybody has to play the bad guy at some point, right!!!??? 😉 Alvernon, on the other hand is quite diciplined, anal, very organized, and very mental! Cool Al can get tired, unrested, lazy and needing sleep because Alvernon has spent so much of our time anally thinking about something that had to be done in an organized and disciplined fashion!!! …….which all brings this to a point!

I started this blog after taking a look at myself and embracing all things Cool Ass Al, as well as all things Alvernon! I can be quite the normal/common, everyday guy that drinks beer and watches sports one minute, then switch to a wine swigging, rom/com loving, foodie with a penchant for great dialog and obscure storylines. Yep, I often surprise people when they begin to peel back the layers. I had/have this vision of inspiring others to embrace the layers of themselves as well. However, I then found myself over thinking ideas of blog posts and it was causing me writers blocks and unnecessary use of brain power…relax Cool Al!!! At the same time, It led me to check out other blogs, comment on theirs (…that whole reading inspiring Alvernon to write type of thingy), and even gain a few followers. This made my heart smile so thank you Noor, Stephanie, Allaya, Opinionated Man, and A Life Less Ordinary…(the first bloggers to follow me) and special mention to Robert Okaji for his “Katharsis” post. You guys have added fuel to my fire to read (and write), to overcome the fears I want to inspire others to do….and to Embrace my Nerdy Things…. because i am “one” Cool Ass Nerd!!!

Peace… E.N.T.

Somebody Call The Cops!

Ever hear someone say something ever so common, but it makes you laugh like crazy when they say it? I love moments like these and I grow fonder of the people it comes from because it displays what I find unique about them. It reminds me of that one lane of joy only they can provide and I find myself thinking about them and enjoying their company even when they’re not around. So, one night my girlfriend and I were enjoying some quality time and sharing stories of our pasts. We both grew up in the inner city of Chicago so we’ve both seen and/or experienced situations where a police presence was needed. Notice I said “police!” While listening to one of her experiences, she goes, “…and I’m like, somebody call the cops!!!” We’re still laughing about it to this day! For some reason, I felt like nobody uses the word “cops” anymore and she said it with such enthusiasm like it was quite the norm…and it is, really. But, for some reason it felt like I hadn’t heard it since the movie Robo Cop was out! Perhaps she’s been living in the far suburbs for too long and it’s given her a nerdy accent to the word? Perhaps it was me imagining this sweet girl in a panicking situation and so far out of her element she really did want to see Robo Cop on the scene immediately? In the next passing days and weeks, the word “cops” kept popping up all around me. You know how it is… like when you buy a new car for instance…you start noticing just how many “cars like yours” are on the roads all of a sudden? I mean, cops were everywhere! I even heard it numerous times in a lot of rap songs I recorded! So, my apologies sweetheart. Though the shit is still funny as ever… I sure wouldn’t want you to call Robo Police on me!!!

E.N.T.

Straight-Legging My Sleeves…

One of my favorite lines by 2Pac is “…and they say how do you survive weighing 165 in the city where the skinny ni**az die?…” (taken from Straight Ballin). The bars are so synonymous  to his life as a poet/thug/activist/performer, and to my life growing up on the south side of the Chi. Nooo, I’m no thug and I don’t live a life as he did but, I do at least weigh 165lbs! So, yeah…I did/do feel the need to get in and stay in the gym to at least be kind of strong for a dude weighing 165lbs! I set some immediate goals to be able to bench press 225lbs and have my biceps big enough that the sleeves of my shirts would fit nice and snug. (Pause for a feeling myself moment…) Ok, so first goal to press 225lbs is met and now I want to be able to rep it 3-4 times. Perhaps I’ll want more after I’m able to do that, but I certainly don’t want to be all, super buffed!!! You know…like when you’re so big and resting your arms at the side,  your palms face your back instead of your thighs!!!??? Lol!!! But, this sleeve situation has brought me a little less satisfaction! I was watching The Big Bang Theory one day and AGAIN realized how Sheldon’s sleeves on his super hero t-shirts were always so snug. I love funny and witty t-shirts because they speak to the nerd in me. But, all the same…the Chi-town 2pac in me wants to look “strong for my size sexy” in them! IJS… However, I often find these types of shirts have sleeves that do nothing to high-light my “225lb bench pressing, now only sorta-skinny” frame! I’m convinced that Sheldon’s sleeves are tailor made to fit him so, am I terribly wrong for possibly tailoring my sleeves? Back in the 80’s, we used to sew a seam down the inner pants leg from calf height down to make our pants fit snug around the ankle. It made your track Nike’s look fresh, right!!!??? So, if this gym thing doesn’t pan out…I might…I just might be …straight-leggin my sleeves!

E.N.T.

We Only Serve Coffee Here!

One autumn afternoon, just as the sun was about to set, a blind man in his mid forties decided to take a walk through some neighboring blocks. He was revered in the area for being able to navigate the streets with relative ease, though every so often he was helped across intersections. He was always pleasant to talk to if even for that brief minute because he was quite hip for his age. After being passed along to a block he wasn’t familiar with, he heard some good urban music blaring from an establishment and decided to check it out. A kind voice greeted him with “hello, sir…can I get you something hot and steamy?” He chuckled and said “sure sweetie, whatchya got?” She says “well, we’ve got French Vanilla, Caramel Macchiato, straight Black…I mean, it’ll be easier if you tell me what you like!” Perhaps it was the soft, sweet, tone of her voice that put him at ease but, he was certainly now very relaxed and comfortable in this setting! He still seemed a bit indecisive, though. So, the woman says, “ok sir, how’s about you take a seat here and someone will be over to serve you soon?” He agrees and as he takes a seat grooving to Nelly’s “Hot In Here,” another equally sexy voice sits down at the table with him. “Ok, sir… so let me read the list of your options. We have a “Mexican Chocolate, a Natural Bliss, something Extra Sweet and Creamy, some Girl Scout Thin Mints, Caramel and Coconut, and even a Snickerdoodle,” if you’re into that sort of flavor. He says he cant hear her clearly over the music and asks her to sit closer to reread the list. He then begins to scoot closer to her, feeling for her arms and hands and complimented her on the softness of her fingers. Whispering something in her ear that obviously and greatly angered her… she abruptly stands up, slaps the shit out of him and says…. “Excuse me Mr., but this is not a strip club!!! ……We Only Serve Coffee Here!!!”

E.N.T.