I read, heard, came across the question…”have you ever fully thrown yourself into anything,” and I initially and sadly said to myself NO, I haven’t. It made me sad because I was thinking about this one thing I knew I have yet to give my all to, in spite of the daily tug at my spirit to do so. It made me question my will, my drive, my discipline, motivation, inner fight, gumption, assertiveness, etc; ya know all things alpha male! …those things that make a man stand out, that make him attractive, a leader… Needless to say, the shit can send a brother down a rabbit hole of insecurity that’ll only exasperate the issue at hand. So, instead I took a look in the other direction; a look down my past, a look towards the things I was proud of in myself and started finding nutritious carrots in that rabbit hole. I remembered how I used to absolutely love playing baseball and how I “fully threw myself into it!” I remembered the times I fell in love and how I “fully threw myself into it!” …when I used to rap and make music, the jobs I’ve had, the schools I attended, and presently the family I’m blessed with. That NO answer quickly became a gleeful, “why yes, I have!” And even though I still knew there was that one thing I hadn’t yet fully thrown myself into, that thought sparked the opportunity to do so… to write… to write these very words!!!

E.N.T