Month: September 2016

Guess Who’s BZZZ-ack?

Posted on by Alvernon

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Last week, on a routine stop to deliver material I was greeted by a very inquisitive bee. As I pulled my pallet off my truck, he buzzed up to me to say “Hi!!!” I figured it had to be a formal greeting because he felt the need to look me right in the eye to do so. I politely waved hello back to him and kept working. After dropping the pallet off in the garage and returning back to the truck for the second, he was still buzzing around. He must have been quite interested in the material I was delivering, because this time he decided to drop in the 4×2 box to analyze it’s contents. No problem, I’m sure he could have been a little tired from all that flying around so I took him for a little ride. Thinking he was still in the box I placed next to the first pallet, I returned to the truck ready to drive a few feet into the yard where I needed to deliver some outside material. He obviously flew out the box at some point and decided to hang around the truck. Perhaps wanting to give me a hand with my work, he AGAIN buzzed up to greet me. Feeling a bit uneasy at his aggressive re-introduction, I did a slow jog…….OK, I ran back to the truck and got in, rolled the windows up, and proceeded into the yard……20+ feet away! Whew, he should be going about his business now, right? I mean, really who wants to follow a noisy, diesel fueled behemoth? If he had thumbs, he say “THIS GUUUUYYYY,” because there he was again…buzzing, greeting, and nosey as hell…

Insert nerdy fact checks here: Bees are attracted to bright colors and sweet smells. They think both are wonderful flowers ripe for pollination. You see beekeepers wearing all white because it’s the one color that does confuse them. Even dark colors are no deterrent for them, because they think they are predators and will act a bit more cautious or aggressive. They will then find their way to soft tissue spots like the neck and eyes where they can do the most harm. Smart little guys, huh?

Well, I was wearing a grey shirt and surely smelled like sweat and the muggy outside air so it couldn’t have been my scent. My truck is all white and had no movement to suggest it wanted to keep him. And the sweet smells from the grocery store adjacent to the garage was about 50 yards away! So, why did this little fellow feel the need to buzz around me for a half an hour? …..It surely felt that long!!!

I suppose Mr. Busy Bee has seen me there everyday and wants to get to know me…..or sting me in the eye but I digress. What a day, and I’ll return around the same time the next. When I did, I couldn’t help but wonder what he’s up to now.

Damn………Guess Who’s BZZZ-ack???

E.N.T.

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Writers Muscles

Posted on by Alvernon

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I want to be a writer. That’s too easy or general… I really love writing, especially when/if I write something that makes me laugh, think, or feel. Yes, I’m quite self entertained like that. So, like any other profession, skill, or craft you need some sort of schooling right? Well, I’ve seen some awesome, then misleading, then back to awesome information and advice on how to become a writer. I’ll come back to that in a second. First I want to share a gym story to help put things in perspective.

I’ve been working out fairly consistently for about 2yrs now and I’ve seen some pretty good results. However, when others see and acknowledge my gains the results are felt on a much deeper level. I never felt I needed a trainer to get the body I wanted, but I’m quick to ask a muscle head dude in the gym…”aye fam, what muscles are you working with that set you just did?” Perhaps they too feel great about their gains being acknowledged, because they are ALWAYS happy to give me an answer with “how to” instructions, motivational jargon, and even a diet to ensure I get the most out of this workout! I’ve sought-after advice from “extra swoll” dudes…”skinny cut dudes,” or “nutrition shirt wearing cats,” etc. and I take what advice I like, and discard the rest. Out of these 2yrs of gym data gathering, I just recently heard the best and only true advice there is, even though I had already seen a YouTube video I knew was the end all, be all of gym advice. And that is… You have to find out what your muscle fiber type is, first and foremost! You may have muscle fibers that require heavy weight with low reps to develop. Or, you may be like me…lighter weight, with lots of reps really give you a good workout. In all, what works for you, may not work for me.

Now, back to this “becoming a writer” advice… Just write: OK great, I agree! You HAVE to read…a lot: Eh, I sort of agree! Fuck a critic: Yes, but I do have feelings so that’s a work in progress! A writer has no rules, do it your own way: Absolute truth resonating with me! I found my own way in the gym, just like I found my way through all that writing advice. Some was good, some was bad…but all was me deciphering through it to find my muscle fiber type… right down to the muscles in my writing hand!!!

E.N.T.