Ego Trippin

They say you can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you set your mind to, but can you? Can we? Better yet…do you or I even really want that for ourselves and others. I say yes and no and as much of a contradiction that may seem, it’s the only true answer to any of the previously stated questions. I’ll try proving my point but I HAVE to do a disclaimer first cuz I’m about to let you in on some private thoughts and I don’t need you all judging me or looking at me differently, dammit! Let my history, track record, and consistency be your reminder that I’m the same dude I was before you read this shit… I’m merely using my unfiltered, inside voice! Ok…leggo!!!

My alter ego is a bad muthafukka… His first name is more commonly a last name like Wade or Lynch or some shit. And he has a last name that consists of two badass words like Armstrong or Blackwell… Wade Blackwell…yeah, I like the sound of that!!! This dude is about 6’3, 225… looks like a wide receiver, handsome, but not overly good looking and pretty! He just read that the newly appointed president of the NRA said it won’t be long until white ppl are able to own black ppl again and it’s their God given right to do so. His reaction is that he hopes that guy gets shot in the face by the very rifle he’s such an advocate of. Although Wade is a spiritual guy, he takes pleasure in the stories in the bible when God wreaks havoc on sinners, just as much as he does when God blesses the kind at heart. This makes him a very contradictory man but he doesn’t give one solitary fuck about it. He says whatever he feels when he feels it and may give you an explanation, but he won’t spend any energy trying to defend it. Wade is creative and talented as hell. He plays the guitar, piano and drums, can sing, rap, dance and act. He’s Great at any sport, super intellengent and articulate even when drinking tons of whiskey (with Dos Equis of course…lol)and smoking squares, cigars, cloves, weed or whatever he wants. He wants a girlfriend when he wants a girlfriend, and when he doesn’t want one, he wants a girl that understands that! He makes a LOT of money, but no one can understand his job functions. He speaks several languages and dresses like he’s from the hood, but you would never consider it thuggish. He has lots of tattoos that all have some deep ass meaning to them and his stories all sound like novels… coincidently he’s in the process of writing one. I could say more, but I’ll just get to proving my point.

A guy like Wade Blackwell would stay in drama and controversy so Alvernon filters all aspects of this dude. I’m all of these things but none of them. My Dad resembled a lot of those characteristics, but my Mom is the complete opposite…yet they attracted, had two kids, and a fairly successful marriage before the drugs and alcohol took their toll. So, can I be whoever I want…yes because it’s in me and I just did it in the form of this writing. But, no…I cannot because I’m so much like my mom Wade Blackwell will never take the physical form. But wait, text is indeed a physical thing…. What a contradiction, right!!!???

E.N.T.

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