Ok, I really like memes and dream of having a whole conversation using only them. I’m not sure how or even if it would work, but I think it would be hella nerdy cool! With that said, I cant really get into Instagram. I have way to much to say to really get into Twitter either. I can come up with nice one-liners…but then I’d want you to respond so you can understand exactly where I’m coming from. I hate to be misunderstood! I do love Facebook, however. The way it allows us to connect and reconnect with people has allowed me to promote some great birthday parties, get informed on a bunch of peoples business I shouldn’t know about, see some utter bullshit in a myriad of genres, and reunite me with a great love. But, this WordPress world is nothing short of awesome to me…at least for now! I’m so new to it that I fear I’ll encounter some ambiguities, but for now drift away with me and allow me to be the foolish dreamer I am. Now, these things may already exist (outside of my head), so forgive my naivety! 😉
Here at the WordPress actual meet and greet, the banquet hall was full of my followers and their followers. (Yeah, I know this can realistically be an enormous hall, but just work with my nerdy vision for a sec; please and thanks! …lol) We could share our stories on what inspired us to become bloggers and have awards for certain categories. We’d get to hold conversations and meet the people we’ve heard about in each others blogs, have a few drinks, and all leave with great fodder for future posts!
In our travels, we can visit different cities and countries and have instant tour guides. Trust me…if anyone decides to visit Chicago, you’ll want to hit me up for safe passage ways throughout the city. Chi-Raq is as advertised! I have some nice stamps on my passport and it would have been great to have had some insider knowledge on those places prior to my visits.
Lastly…I obviously have a good imagination and I’ve already put voices, accents, and cadences to the few followers I have and the blogs I’ve read. You all are probably nothing like the characters floating around my head and I’d love to see how far off I really am. lol…
All in all… I’m super excited to have entered into this world of blogging. I use to be a hip hop artist with dreams of recording and performing on huge stages but the birth of my daughter made giving it up bittersweet! Blogging has now reignited the flame to create and It’s given a me a lane to do something I love!!! So, in the words of EPMD… “Please listen to my demo…,” and help me form my WordPress family……. nerdy vision optional!
W’sup people…A lot of folks call me Cool Ass Al… And hello world…my name is Alvernon! Cool Al has close to 800 friends on Facebook. A lot of those friends have significantly more friends than that. Alvernon actually communicates with perhaps only a hundred or so of those “friends!” Chances are, he has been “real” friends with them before Facebook was invented, he has their actual contact information already, or he is at lease a person or two away from obtaining it. We both are very competitive!!! 😉 Ironically, that same competitiveness has sometimes shied Alvernon away from actual competition because of the heightened emotion of it all. But, Cool Al loves a good challenge!!! Alvernon is a pretty private person! But, Cool Al will share our life story to anyone willing to listen. We both love to write, but Cool Al doesn’t read often. He draws his inspiration from entertainment and worldly things. When Alvernon isn’t too busy, he loves to read and gets inspired by some of the weirdest shit! We’re both too loyal of a friend to divulge others personal information even if it pertains to our own life, and we’ll protect the integrity of others as we do our own. However, if a great story can come from us talking about them, it’s much harder for Cool Al to object!!! …everybody has to play the bad guy at some point, right!!!??? 😉 Alvernon, on the other hand is quite diciplined, anal, very organized, and very mental! Cool Al can get tired, unrested, lazy and needing sleep because Alvernon has spent so much of our time anally thinking about something that had to be done in an organized and disciplined fashion!!! …….which all brings this to a point!
I started this blog after taking a look at myself and embracing all things Cool Ass Al, as well as all things Alvernon! I can be quite the normal/common, everyday guy that drinks beer and watches sports one minute, then switch to a wine swigging, rom/com loving, foodie with a penchant for great dialog and obscure storylines. Yep, I often surprise people when they begin to peel back the layers. I had/have this vision of inspiring others to embrace the layers of themselves as well. However, I then found myself over thinking ideas of blog posts and it was causing me writers blocks and unnecessary use of brain power…relax Cool Al!!! At the same time, It led me to check out other blogs, comment on theirs (…that whole reading inspiring Alvernon to write type of thingy), and even gain a few followers. This made my heart smile so thank you Noor, Stephanie, Allaya, Opinionated Man, and A Life Less Ordinary…(the first bloggers to follow me) and special mention to Robert Okaji for his “Katharsis” post. You guys have added fuel to my fire to read (and write), to overcome the fears I want to inspire others to do….and to Embrace my Nerdy Things…. because i am “one” Cool Ass Nerd!!!
Ever hear someone say something ever so common, but it makes you laugh like crazy when they say it? I love moments like these and I grow fonder of the people it comes from because it displays what I find unique about them. It reminds me of that one lane of joy only they can provide and I find myself thinking about them and enjoying their company even when they’re not around. So, one night my girlfriend and I were enjoying some quality time and sharing stories of our pasts. We both grew up in the inner city of Chicago so we’ve both seen and/or experienced situations where a police presence was needed. Notice I said “police!” While listening to one of her experiences, she goes, “…and I’m like, somebody call the cops!!!” We’re still laughing about it to this day! For some reason, I felt like nobody uses the word “cops” anymore and she said it with such enthusiasm like it was quite the norm…and it is, really. But, for some reason it felt like I hadn’t heard it since the movie Robo Cop was out! Perhaps she’s been living in the far suburbs for too long and it’s given her a nerdy accent to the word? Perhaps it was me imagining this sweet girl in a panicking situation and so far out of her element she really did want to see Robo Cop on the scene immediately? In the next passing days and weeks, the word “cops” kept popping up all around me. You know how it is… like when you buy a new car for instance…you start noticing just how many “cars like yours” are on the roads all of a sudden? I mean, cops were everywhere! I even heard it numerous times in a lot of rap songs I recorded! So, my apologies sweetheart. Though the shit is still funny as ever… I sure wouldn’t want you to call Robo Police on me!!!
One of my favorite lines by 2Pac is “…and they say how do you survive weighing 165 in the city where the skinny ni**az die?…” (taken from Straight Ballin). The bars are so synonymous to his life as a poet/thug/activist/performer, and to my life growing up on the south side of the Chi. Nooo, I’m no thug and I don’t live a life as he did but, I do at least weigh 165lbs! So, yeah…I did/do feel the need to get in and stay in the gym to at least be kind of strong for a dude weighing 165lbs! I set some immediate goals to be able to bench press 225lbs and have my biceps big enough that the sleeves of my shirts would fit nice and snug. (Pause for a feeling myself moment…) Ok, so first goal to press 225lbs is met and now I want to be able to rep it 3-4 times. Perhaps I’ll want more after I’m able to do that, but I certainly don’t want to be all, super buffed!!! You know…like when you’re so big and resting your arms at the side, your palms face your back instead of your thighs!!!??? Lol!!! But, this sleeve situation has brought me a little less satisfaction! I was watching The Big Bang Theory one day and AGAIN realized how Sheldon’s sleeves on his super hero t-shirts were always so snug. I love funny and witty t-shirts because they speak to the nerd in me. But, all the same…the Chi-town 2pac in me wants to look “strong for my size sexy” in them! IJS… However, I often find these types of shirts have sleeves that do nothing to high-light my “225lb bench pressing, now only sorta-skinny” frame! I’m convinced that Sheldon’s sleeves are tailor made to fit him so, am I terribly wrong for possibly tailoring my sleeves? Back in the 80’s, we used to sew a seam down the inner pants leg from calf height down to make our pants fit snug around the ankle. It made your track Nike’s look fresh, right!!!??? So, if this gym thing doesn’t pan out…I might…I just might be …straight-leggin my sleeves!
One autumn afternoon, just as the sun was about to set, a blind man in his mid forties decided to take a walk through some neighboring blocks. He was revered in the area for being able to navigate the streets with relative ease, though every so often he was helped across intersections. He was always pleasant to talk to if even for that brief minute because he was quite hip for his age. After being passed along to a block he wasn’t familiar with, he heard some good urban music blaring from an establishment and decided to check it out. A kind voice greeted him with “hello, sir…can I get you something hot and steamy?” He chuckled and said “sure sweetie, whatchya got?” She says “well, we’ve got French Vanilla, Caramel Macchiato, straight Black…I mean, it’ll be easier if you tell me what you like!” Perhaps it was the soft, sweet, tone of her voice that put him at ease but, he was certainly now very relaxed and comfortable in this setting! He still seemed a bit indecisive, though. So, the woman says, “ok sir, how’s about you take a seat here and someone will be over to serve you soon?” He agrees and as he takes a seat grooving to Nelly’s “Hot In Here,” another equally sexy voice sits down at the table with him. “Ok, sir… so let me read the list of your options. We have a “Mexican Chocolate, a Natural Bliss, something Extra Sweet and Creamy, some Girl Scout Thin Mints, Caramel and Coconut, and even a Snickerdoodle,” if you’re into that sort of flavor. He says he cant hear her clearly over the music and asks her to sit closer to reread the list. He then begins to scoot closer to her, feeling for her arms and hands and complimented her on the softness of her fingers. Whispering something in her ear that obviously and greatly angered her… she abruptly stands up, slaps the shit out of him and says…. “Excuse me Mr., but this is not a strip club!!! ……We Only Serve Coffee Here!!!”
“Some say I have a dirty mind, sometimes that may be true, but these are just some dirty times…I aint trippin on you…!!!” ( Too Short… “I aint Trippin”) Oh, but I am…as well as trippin on myself so please don’t be offended. After reading the title and that first line, you’re probably thinking this post is about to be something intimate or freaky in nature so lets go there! When I hear the word “supple,” I’m picturing a scene where two lovers are alone in a dimly lit room with soft music playing in the background. She grabs his “wrists” and pulls him in closer. Gently moving her “hands” to his “elbows,” she guides his “arms” to hold her around her ” waist.” He does so with an aggressive yet gentle embrace controlling her “spine!” Her “neck” tilts back at the pleasure of his hold awaiting his next move. Leaving his left “arm” around her “waist,” he moves his right “hand” to her “jaw” and gives her face a gentle caress while staring into her eyes. As they exhale, their “torsos” connect and that first kiss finally happens. Their “knees” get weaker by the second and sensations can even be felt in their “toes!” Now, I’m willing to bet you think the word “supple” is befitting in that little scene somewhere, but it’s really not. After the nerd in me just had to look up the definition… I realized society has made me use the word oh so incorrectly. Supple simply means “readily bent, folded or manipulated…moving with agility,” if you will! Every word put in quotations is simply a body part that is indeed supple….and not the actual feel of something! So, to quote the sentence from my dictionary app… “The supple ambiguities of English are a large part of its genius!!!”
Hello world…what’s happening? My name is Al. A common name, a simple name for an ordinary guy. I’m just like most dudes…typical male who loves music, likes sports, good food, good liquor, and of course beautiful women. I like to have fun, party a little, dance…I’m a free spirited type of fellow that doesn’t take himself too serious. I believe these are some of the traits that ultimately led to my given name of Cool Ass Al. However, there are sides to me that most people aren’t privy to that entertain the hell out of me. For instance: I absolutely love my dictionary app on my phone! The nerd in me loves to look up a word I come across that I know nothing about. At that moment, I feel smarter than all of you and I start having conversations and scenarios in my head where I use them in strikingly cunning fashion to make the scene erupt in laughter. Yes, I’m so self entertained that way! So, here’s what happened when I opened the app for the “word of the day.” It was “driblet!!!” …funny already, right!!!??? No lie, the usage in a sentence was: A driblet of water escaped from the corner of her mouth. Bwwaahhhhh… Coincidently, the second definition for catalyst says: One that precipitates a process or event. Once I got my mind out of the gutter, (here’s where you should do the same) I was able to embrace the nerdy irony of it all. The dictionary app was the catalyst to me starting this blog in hopes that one driblet turns into a precipitation of ideas. I hope it floods the gutters of our minds, cleanses the world some, and inspires driblets to escape the corners of your mouths as well. So, Live life…love life…and Embrace Nerdy Things yall!!! Peace!!!