We Only Serve Coffee Here!

One autumn afternoon, just as the sun was about to set, a blind man in his mid forties decided to take a walk through some neighboring blocks. He was revered in the area for being able to navigate the streets with relative ease, though every so often he was helped across intersections. He was always pleasant to talk to if even for that brief minute because he was quite hip for his age. After being passed along to a block he wasn’t familiar with, he heard some good urban music blaring from an establishment and decided to check it out. A kind voice greeted him with “hello, sir…can I get you something hot and steamy?” He chuckled and said “sure sweetie, whatchya got?” She says “well, we’ve got French Vanilla, Caramel Macchiato, straight Black…I mean, it’ll be easier if you tell me what you like!” Perhaps it was the soft, sweet, tone of her voice that put him at ease but, he was certainly now very relaxed and comfortable in this setting! He still seemed a bit indecisive, though. So, the woman says, “ok sir, how’s about you take a seat here and someone will be over to serve you soon?” He agrees and as he takes a seat grooving to Nelly’s “Hot In Here,” another equally sexy voice sits down at the table with him. “Ok, sir… so let me read the list of your options. We have a “Mexican Chocolate, a Natural Bliss, something Extra Sweet and Creamy, some Girl Scout Thin Mints, Caramel and Coconut, and even a Snickerdoodle,” if you’re into that sort of flavor. He says he cant hear her clearly over the music and asks her to sit closer to reread the list. He then begins to scoot closer to her, feeling for her arms and hands and complimented her on the softness of her fingers. Whispering something in her ear that obviously and greatly angered her… she abruptly stands up, slaps the shit out of him and says…. “Excuse me Mr., but this is not a strip club!!! ……We Only Serve Coffee Here!!!”

E.N.T.

So Supple…

“Some say I have a dirty mind, sometimes that may be true, but these are just some dirty times…I aint trippin on you…!!!” ( Too Short… “I aint Trippin”) Oh, but I am…as well as trippin on myself so please don’t be offended. After reading the title and that first line, you’re probably thinking this post is about to be something intimate or freaky in nature so lets go there! When I hear the word “supple,” I’m picturing a scene where two lovers are alone in a dimly lit room with soft music playing in the background. She grabs his “wrists” and pulls him in closer. Gently moving her “hands” to his “elbows,” she guides his “arms” to hold her around her ” waist.” He does so with an aggressive yet gentle embrace  controlling her “spine!” Her “neck” tilts back at the pleasure of his hold awaiting his next move. Leaving his left “arm” around her “waist,” he moves his right “hand” to her “jaw” and gives her face a gentle caress while staring into her eyes. As they exhale, their “torsos” connect and that first kiss finally happens. Their “knees” get weaker by the second and sensations can even be felt in their “toes!” Now, I’m willing to bet you think the word “supple” is befitting in that little scene somewhere, but it’s really not. After the nerd in me just had to look up the definition… I realized society has made me use the word oh so incorrectly. Supple simply means “readily bent, folded or manipulated…moving with agility,” if you will! Every word put in quotations is simply a body part that is indeed supple….and not the actual feel of something! So, to quote the sentence from my dictionary app… “The supple ambiguities of English are a large part of its genius!!!”

E.N.T.

The Catalyst

Hello world…what’s happening? My name is Al. A common name, a simple name for an ordinary guy. I’m just like most dudes…typical male who loves music, likes sports, good food, good liquor, and of course beautiful women. I like to have fun, party a little, dance…I’m a free spirited type of fellow that doesn’t take himself too serious. I believe these are some of the traits that ultimately led to my given name of Cool Ass Al. However, there are sides to me that most people aren’t privy to that entertain the hell out of me. For instance: I absolutely love my dictionary app on my phone! The nerd in me loves to look up a word I come across that I know nothing about. At that moment, I feel smarter than all of you and I start having conversations and scenarios in my head where I use them in strikingly cunning fashion to make the scene erupt in laughter. Yes, I’m so self entertained that way! So, here’s what happened when I opened the app for the “word of the day.” It was “driblet!!!” …funny already, right!!!??? No lie, the usage in a sentence was: A driblet of water escaped from the corner of her mouth. Bwwaahhhhh… Coincidently, the second definition for catalyst says: One that precipitates a process or event. Once I got my mind out of the gutter, (here’s where you should do the same) I was able to embrace the nerdy irony of it all. The dictionary app was the catalyst to me starting this blog in hopes that one driblet turns into a precipitation of ideas. I hope it floods the gutters of our minds, cleanses the world some, and inspires driblets to escape the corners of your mouths as well. So, Live life…love life…and Embrace Nerdy Things yall!!! Peace!!!

E.N.T.