The Martian

Marvin

[image credit] Merrie-melodies-laser-beam-marvin-the-martian.jpg (looneytunesshow.wikia.com)

Recently, I took a trip to Venus and acquired some awesome understanding about women. So, it was only right I take a trip to my home planet and now I’m an expert on all things about men.  Ladies, this is where you’ll want to pour a glass of wine or set up whatever pleasurable and relaxing vices you indulge in as I break down why men are the way we are.

You may or may not understand us because, well…we come from a planet that’s a conundrum for even a scientist. Mars is considered to be an incredibly inhospitable place, much like the emotionally unavailable male. It’s cold, dry, has little atmosphere or precipitation, and nothing grows there! So no, we will never understand what it’s like to bare a child. But, Mars is still a lot like Earth!

Perhaps it’s just me, but I never refer to a woman as having “swag” in complements to her aura. She can be jazzy, or stylish or simply hot…but not possessing swag. That seems better suited for a guy walking with a certain tilt to his axis. He exhibits a certain cool atmosphere with a mystery of what lies underneath his layers. You don’t know what his temperament is, but like Earth you still feel his gravitational pull.

Ever wonder why it takes a man a while to warm up and open up enough for you to see how he flows? Why is there nothing like a hot, cooked meal to rejuvenate a man? In fact, why does it take all things warm i.e. a hug, kiss, smile to see a man come to life? How can we be so familiar to all things Earthly, and yet be so confusing at the same time?

Perhaps these nerdy fact will help shed some light on us. Mars indeed does have plenty of water… it’s just in the polar regions and as a permanent layer of permafrost under much of its surface. So, if your sunshine is warm enough, (along with the right combination of food, hugs, and kisses) you can melt this cold, outer, shell and begin to see him flow through life. You see his “swag” because Mars’ axial tilt of 25.19 degrees is comparable to Earth’s  23.44. A day on Mars is 24hrs and 39mn, and it’s average temperature is 51 degrees Fahrenheit so we can afford to procrastinate at least 40mn a day…ijs!!! 😉 Mars’ orbit around the sun is more eccentric than other planets as well. It can be at a distance of 206.7 million to 249.2 million  kilometers from the sun!  I bet the man cave is perhaps located at the latter distance… Just embrace my “eccentricity” and as always….

E.N.T.

 

 

 

 

 

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